


Another Side: Gray Magic

by Irhaboggles



Category: Original Work
Genre: Alternate Universe - Magic, Alternate Universe - Witchcraft, Dark Magic, Fantasy, Funny, Humor, Magic, Magic-Users, Musing, Philosophy, Rambling, Satire, Short Stories, Sorcerer, Witch - Freeform, Witchcraft, Witches, Wizard, Wizards, necromancer - Freeform, one shots, slight satire, sorcery
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-02
Updated: 2020-01-20
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:21:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 12,899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22080970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Irhaboggles/pseuds/Irhaboggles
Summary: Anthology of unrelated one-shots and short stories about magic-users whose powers are neither explicitly good or explicitly bad. Updated whenever. Enjoy if you can. Indulge in some silly philosophy with a magical backdrop. This is the fifth book in my Random Philosophy Series.
Kudos: 1





	1. The Woes of a Necromage

"Bigot!" Sonorhc grumbled. Not for the first time had she been prematurely and unfairly judged because of her less-than-savory magic.

"What was it this time?" Reaper asked with an amused smirk. Unlike Sonorhc, she found this magical-based discrimination amusing.

"They won't even let me into hospitals now!" Sonorhc replied, pouting as she glared up at the hospital building in front of her.

"I would call that a blessing!" Reaper snickered, elbowing her friend. "Hospitals are creepy. Who would ever go into one willingly?"

"But what if I get sick?" Sonorhc demanded.

"Just die and resurrect," Reaper replied with a shrug.

"And what if someone I love gets sick?"

"Just _kill_ and resurrect!"

"Reaper!"

"Well fine. If _you_ don't do the deed, _I_ will!" Reaper cracked her knuckles playfully. "You can bring 'em back once I send 'em away!"

"Reaper!" Sonorhc cried again, pinching the bridge of her nose. The two of them had been best friends ever since they started training under death-based magic together, but they were still very different. While Reaper was almost obnoxiously cheerful, Sonorhc was the grumpy one.

"Ok, ok, I'm sorry, I'll stop," Reaper promised, trying to reign in. She knew that Sonorhc could be a bit self-conscious at times.

"Honestly, you think they'd consider Necromagy a _Life_ Magic! Not a _Death_ Magic!" Sonorhc continued to glare at the hospital. "We don't kill, we _resurrect_! We don't _end_ lives, we return and save them! We don't send souls away, we bring them back! Yet still! They hate and fear us! Such are the woes of a Necromage, I guess…" she sighed in annoyance and defeat.

"Well, it's because you only work with those who are _already_ dead," Reaper said. "And you don't always bring them back very well…"

"Hey!" Sonorhc snapped. "It's harder than it looks, you know? Not only do I have to get every body part back in the right order, but then I have to reactivate everything correctly so that no personality traits or mental faculties become changed, lost or warped!"

"I know, I know!" Reaper promised, trying to calm her friend down. "I just mean that since you start with and from death, that's why Necromagy is considered a Death Magic even though you are right that you bring people back to life rather than expel them from it. It's like Shadow Magic!"

"What?" Sonorhc snorted. "How can controlling shadows and darkness compare to, oh, I don't know… _creating zombies and working with the DEAD and bringing them back to life_?! I'd say that Necromagy is a bit more extreme than Umbramagy!"

"Well not that," Reaper said. "I'm not about to go into which magical art is the most oppressed. I merely mean that Shadow Magic is another "Gray Magic", you know? It's something that Nevermore was trying to tell me about a few days ago. She essentially said that because shadows cannot exist without light, Umbramagy ought to be considered a Light Magic rather than a Dark Magic in the same way you believe Necromagy should be considered a Life Magic rather than a Death Magic."

"Yeah, but it would look silly to see an Umbramage working alongside a Photomage," said Sonorhc. "Even if shadows _do_ rely on light!"

"And that's exactly the point you were trying to make about Necromagy," said Reaper and Sonorhc finally saw her point. "Nevermore was trying to argue that the way we categorize things is, at its core, arbitrary. Sure, we _claim_ that certain things belong in certain groups, but can we know for sure? Of course, I'm not saying _every_ category is arbitrary, but when we hit things like shadow and resurrection magic, that's when it gets messy."

"Ha, yeah. It's like the "Featherless Biped" problem," Sonorhc gave a dry smile. "You fit one category, but totally mess up another."

"And then you have to re-sort the entire thing," Reaper agreed. "And it's also like the Pyromage problems. You know how some of them prefer to focus on the flames while others focus on the smoke. And you know how fire can be used for both harm and healing. So it's hard to classify, would you consider Fire Magic a 'good' or 'evil' magic, when looking at it in that particular binary?"

"Ugh. You're making my head hurt," Sonorhc joked tiredly. "Just call it "Gray Magic" and leave it there."

"I thought you liked philosophy!" Reaper defended herself.

"I _do_ ," Sonorhc admitted. "Just not when I'm moping over not being allowed into a hospital," she said, looking back up at the towering building.

"If it makes you feel any better, they probably wouldn't let me in either," Reaper said, trying to be empathetic.

"Well your powers are expressly for causing death!" Sonorhc shot back. "You decay things with a single touch! But me? I bring people back! And besides, it's not like people don't die in hospitals anyway! Regardless of who is on the scene, a hospital is a place of death, just as it is a place of life, yet here I am being told that I am bad luck to this place!" Sonorhc continued to vent. The woes of a Necromage were endless.

"Ooof man," Reaper shook her head. "Maybe this is just a bad hospital. I once worked as an anesthetist in a hospital in another country. I used my death-skills to essentially kill nerve endings and pain receptors. And yes, I have been used as euthanasia before," she added, grimacing slightly at the end of her remark. While she didn't mind that line of work, she knew it was a very controversial one and not a lot of people were always comfortable with the idea of a human using their magic to kill, even if it was totally legal and safe. But it was cheaper than injections. While those chemicals cost money, using Death Magic was free. It only took a bit of energy, which was easily recovered with food and rest.

"But I mean hey, like I said, you need _someone_ to put people out of their misery and clean up the bodies!" she joked a second later, trying to lighten the mood. She gave a goofy grin and even Sonorhc stopped pouting for a moment.

"You're terrible!" Sonorhc laughed despite herself. Reaper's morbid humor never ceased to amuse her, no matter how messed up it was. Besides, she wasn't wrong. There _were_ other hospitals that accepted those with Death Magic, but unfortunately, they were usually the creepier and grosser hospitals. They were sanitariums, sanitoriums, asylums and other "deathlier" places. That was Sonorhc's real problem.

Even if hospitals were also places of death, they had an air of life and hope. Only the places that were truly like "living tombs" welcomed Death Magic users unconditionally. This meant that quality of work was subpar. While the "Doctors of Life" were hoity-toity jerks working in high-end hospitals, the poor fools working funeral homes and autopsy rooms were much lower down on the hierarchy. But those were considered places of death rather than of life, hence why a Necromage could find a job as an anesthetist or euthaniaist, but not necessarily a surgeon.

"Never mind. Let's just go," Sonorhc finally sighed. "I'd rather not stare up at a hospital all day and complain."

"Sounds good! Let's get something to eat! I'm starving," said Reaper, looking excited as she and Sonorhc finally turned away from the hospital.

"Pig," Sonorhc snickered despite herself.

"What can I say? I love demolishing!" Reaper gave a wicked smile, winking mischievously. Sonorhc only rolled her eyes in return, but in secret, she was glad to have a friend like Reaper. It made the woes of a Necromage so much easier to handle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Just me rambling about different types of magic and magical discrimination in a world I will never fully flesh out (sorry y'all). 
> 
> And yes, I changed the suffix from "-mancer" to "-mage". You'll find out why later.
> 
> And I've made other edits to the other chapters too.


	2. Blame It On the Necromage

"Oh suuuuuuure! Blame it on the Necromage!" Sonorhc growled under her breath. She could feel all the eyes staring at her, burning into her soul. No one said a word, but their judgements were brighter than a boiling summer sun. Every eye was turned on her and every eye looked so disgusted, but the second she tried to catch one, they'd turn away again. It was a dead giveaway (pun intended). It was obvious that even though her name was on the guest list, she was not even remotely welcome to this party. The staring and whispering made that painfully clear.

"Typical!" she huffed, crossing her arms and pouting like someone 15 years younger. This party sucked! For real! Because the only other attendees were a bunch of stuffy old fuddy-duddies, bureaucrats with full wallets and egos, but empty heads and hearts. They were stubborn, refusing to see their own flaws and denying the possibility for change, even if that change would be for the better.

Instead, they followed silly old traditions, even if they were outdated, dangerous or wrong. And they were convinced that they always were in the right. Rather than look for new ideas, or try to see the flaws in their old ones, they remained stubbornly convinced that they were right and everyone else was wrong. They were lost and locked in their own heads and on their own little worlds. They were obsessed with the old and refused to give a chance to the new.

This party was proof of that. It had gone well so far, but Sonorhc could feel every single wary, watchful glare, silently distrusting and disdaining her. She'd done nothing, yet they were already making assumptions. They thought she might lash out and kill them all. Even if that _was_ a fantasy of hers, of course she'd never do it! She had _morals_! Just because she worked with death didn't mean she had no sense of right or wrong!

And besides, this wasn't _Carrie_ or _Frozen_ or _Harry Potter_ or _X-Men_. Yes, she was a powerful girl with powerful magic, but no, she could not just summon it up in a snap. Likewise, she could never just accidentally lose control and kill an entire room! The amount of time, energy, effort, focus and skill that it took to use her powers was so vast that it was literally impossible for her to have a magic accident in response to an emotional breakdown, which was often a trope used in all of the aforementioned books and movies that she'd read and watched. It was all hooey.

And furthermore, it wasn't even like she _looked_ weird. She was only wearing a simple yellow dress. Not only was it modest and plain, but she had intentionally chosen a brighter, sunnier color. But people were still looking at her like she'd come to the party dressed as the Grim Reaper. Idiots! Didn't they know that that was just a stereotype and _no one_ , not even Necromages, actually wore that kind of stuff normally? Maybe for fun, she'd dress up in dark, gothic regalia, but that wasn't her daily wear.

Did these guys really not know that? Did they honestly think she ran around in skulls and blood, adorned in a black cloak and Plague Doctor mask all the time? (Although Reaper liked wearing Plague Doctor masks, though every time she had one on, there was a high chance of her nearly poking someone's eye out with the long, beaky nose. Sonorhc had lost count of how many times she'd been smacked in the face by Reaper's Plague mask whenever Reaper turned around too fast while wearing it).

And then, even when the guests did finally start talking to her, their conversation wasn't exactly the nicest. In fact, one guest even dared to insinuate that all Necromages were heathens, drawn to death because they were inherently violent and murderous. He was implying that people only became Necromages in order to find a sanctioned way to act out their deepest, darkest fetishes.

"Oh! But of course I didn't mean _you_!" he said patronizingly when he caught Sonorhc's offended scowl.

"Sure," she rolled her eyes disbelievingly. "You know, for a guy who claims to be so heroic and noble, you sure are an airheaded jerk!" she finally snapped, and her entire end of the table gasped in horror.

"What?!" the young man's eyes narrowed dangerously, but Sonorhc was too tired and angry to care.

"You judge me before you even know me!" she cried. "You cite all these horrible stereotypes but have nothing to back them up! You claim to be good and kind, but you are cruel and shallow. You claim to be smart, but you have _no_ idea what you're talking about. And if you try to excuse this as just some form of humor, then I still reject it. If you think this is funny, you need to revaluate your sense of humor and realize that you are not as charming and genial as you like to think you are!"

For a few minutes, Sonorhc and the others argued back and forth until Sonorhc finally slammed her hands down on the table.

"You are right that Necromages can lose control," she growled warningly. "But our magic is impossible to wield without the utmost control, so you needn't worry about an accidental or emotional outburst that will destroy this entire restaurant. What you _do_ need to fear is a controlled, methodical and intentional revenge…" then with that, she brought the entire dining hall to life.

Suddenly, chickens, crabs and lobsters began to walk again, hopping right up off their plates and attacking their would-be eaters.

"HOLY SWEET MOTHER OF ALL!" one elderly man fell out of his seat as his crab tried to crawl up his arm to pinch him. All around them, other food began to resurrect, rising straight off of plates and grills, and coming out of pots and pans and ovens. Sonorhc gave a small, mad cackle as the food came back to life and sent the dining hall into chaos. Fish began to flop around, chickens hobbled awkwardly around as their body parts reattached. Even things like salad and bread came back to life, growing and sprouting while the patrons panicked.

Sonorhc intentionally made it so that not a single person was truly harmed, but they were all absolutely terrified as their food came back to terrorize them, and all under Sonorhc's complete and utter command and control.

"Blame it on the Necromage," she giggled sweetly as she set a few lobsters chasing after their would-be eaters, snapping their claws angrily.

"Mercy me!" one lady shrilled as a nearby chicken began to kick her with its bony leg. Sonorhc only watched with absolute mirth, bellowing with laughter as the chaos reigned supreme. She was the only one untouched by the rogue food, and if anyone tried to come near her, the food would instantly come to her aid and fight them off again. It was hysterical!

And it wasn't until every single patron had fled that Sonorhc ceased her magic, all the food instantly dropping dead where it stood.

"I love being a Necromage!" she giggled as she sauntered over to a "re-dead" steak. With a chipper smile, she picked it up and, after finding some gravy, she had herself a nice, quiet, little meal. The entire dining hall belonged to her now and it felt so nice not to have all those people staring at her and breathing down her neck every two seconds. There were still bits of food all over the floors, walls and even ceiling, but Sonorhc ignored it. She also ignored all the shattered plates and glasses, and the silverware that was scattered all over the room. She could get the mess later. For now, she was just going to enjoy herself. That's what this dinner party was supposed to be for, after all, right?

"At least now the people won't be laughing anymore!" she smiled to herself as she reclined in a chair, feet on the table as she stuffed her face. There was no more need for manners tonight. Now, she could truly have some fun! Sometimes, being a Necromage really had its perks!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: I just thought it would be funny to see a Necromancer use their powers to terrorize a dinner party.


	3. Hats, Stars, Gods and Tests

"Oh, come on! No! Absolutely not! I'm not taking your stupid little Sorting quiz!" Sonorhc turned up her nose as Reaper dragged her over to the computer. Nevermore was already there, typing furiously away.

"I honestly don't see what your problem is," Reaper remarked as Sonorhc continued to protest her disinterest.

"Because it's stupid!" Sonorhc repeated. "There is absolutely no scientific evidence to back up the accuracy of this test!"

"Of course not! But it's not supposed to be scientific, it's supposed to be fun!" Reaper cried, shaking her head in exasperation at her grumpy friend.

"It just seems so silly and senseless!" Sonorhc continued to complain. "I mean, what purpose does this serve?"

"Fun," Reaper repeated yet again. "You agreed to spend the whole day at my house, and this is what I want to do first, so let's go!"

"You're not going to let me say no, are you?" Sonorhc frowned as Reaper continued to drag her along.

"On my honor as an ambitious Slytherin who will do anything to achieve my ends, that's a resounding no!" Reaper said cheerfully.

"But it's so subjective! And it breaks down a complex human into to some of the most basic and universal traits imaginable! I mean bravery? Intelligence? Loyalty? Ambition? Everyone I know has all four of those traits! It's not like you're just one and done!" Sonorhc cried.

"Of course not!" Reaper agreed. "But you weren't ever supposed to only feel one trait. It's just about which ones you admire the most!"

"Is it though? Really?" Sonorhc disagreed. "I mean think, Neville Longbottom begged to be put into Hufflepuff, but look where he wound up."

"Well, maybe the Hat just knows before the wizard," Reaper sighed, not ready to listen to Sonorhc go off on another overanalytical rant.

"Well that seems a bit plot-convenient," Sonorhc pouted. "Besides, if you get into the House whose traits you admire most, you can just pick anyways and there is no need for a Sorting Hat!"

"But it's not just about what you value on a surface level," Nevermore finally joined the conversation. "The Hat is supposed to be like a psychologist that can understand your subconscious desires better than you can."

"Isn't is canonical that the Hat has made mistakes, though?" Sonorhc continued to disagree with her friends. Then she cast a look at Reaper. Sonorhc still had no idea how or why Reaper was a Slytherin when she seemed far too boisterous and showy.

"Yes, but no creature is completely infallible," Nevermore answered with a shrug, answering Sonorhc's questions both about Neville and Reaper.

"I just can't believe you, of all people, are buying into this!" Sonorhc gave Nevermore a disapproving, disappointed look.

"Eh, what can I say?" Nevermore didn't even try to explain herself, shrugging off Sonorhc's skepticism. "Besides, if you want a more scientific test, we can try the Meyers-Briggs next. There are lots of more scientific personality tests out there if you don't like these silly fandom ones."

"Oh, don't get me started on that one," Sonorhc rolled her eyes. "I've taken that test multiple times and I have managed to get an array of different types. Sure, that test might be a bit more empirically supported than a quiz on Pottermore, but in my opinion, even the MBTI has its flaws."

"You're right about that," Nevermore agreed. "But it's still probably one of the better personality tests out there. Besides, if you get a lot of similar personality types, that can show you at least a certain cluster/category you fall into, even if you get different letters every time."

"Well, I've gotten INTJ, INFJ, ENFP," Sonorhc replied in deadpan.

"Ah, you're right. Those are pretty different," Nevermore winced. "Why did you take the test so many times?"

"I wanted to see if I could find a pattern," Sonorhc said. "But as you can see, that didn't really happen."

"Well is there any MBTI you feel most drawn to?" Nevermore asked.

"So now you're just saying I can pick my type?" Sonorhc raised an eyebrow.

"No, I just mean that maybe there is one which you agree with the most!" Nevermore defended. "You know what I mean. The MBTI _is_ somewhat scientifically backed. Besides, it doesn't just predict how you will act based on your personality, it also defines the way you see the world. It's why I like it so much. Even if it's not perfect, I know that because of the way I see the world, other people will disagree with me. There will be parts of life that I can never comprehend just because I do not see things the same way other people do. That's why, in this case, you have to kind of go with your gut. With the MBTI, it's not just who you are, it's how you think and process things. That's a bit bigger than mere personality traits."

"But that's just what I'm saying!" Sonorhc cried. "That mentality of just picking the one you agree with most is why I think these tests are silly! Even though you're right the MBTI also discusses how you see the world and uses that lens to explain why we have different personalities, if you still ultimately have to pick the one you feel most in tune with, that defeats the deeper credibility of the test. If it's always up to individual interpretation, you can get different answers every time, which I actually did! And honestly, I feel the same about my Zodiac sign."

"Which is-?" Nevermore asked.

"It doesn't matter," Sonorhc replied firmly. Since she was trying to get her point across that humanity's obsession with sorting personalities and trying to predict their lives based off of that, she was absolutely not going to reveal her star sign. "I'll tell you right now, though, that I have read personality lists for every sign and I see myself in every single one! And the one I agree with most isn't even my own sign! Or at least, the one that I feel is most active in my life is not my birth sign," she amended. "I mean, I do share some traits with it, but I also share traits with all the others!"

"Well that's why real astrology looks deeper into it than just your basic sun sign," said Nevermore.

"Well then you can explain away anything because if you have that many signs, even if you were one constellation, someone could just make something up and say that the reason you acted out of character was just because that was your other sign taking over!" Sonorhc cried. "For example, I could say that I'm a Libra, but then do something that was very Capricorn and someone would explain it away as my Moon Sign temporarily overriding my Sun Sign, hence why I was able to be a Libra who acted like a Capricorn. So you can pretty much explain away any inconsistency by throwing another band-aid over the issue and calling it a solution!"

"True," Nevermore agreed as she listened thoughtfully to Sonorhc's rant.

"In essence, even astrologists and fortune-tellers know that humans can't just be one thing all the time, but instead of trying to find a new system, they just add in things in post to explain away the inconsistencies!" she continued, referring again to the debate over what the Sorting Hat looked at when determining what House to put people into, as well as the fallibility of human interpretation for the MBTI.

"Oh just shut up and take the quiz!" Reaper finally interjected tiredly. Nevermore had been creating a Pottermore account for Sonorhc when she and Reaper walked in and then when she and Sonorhc began to discuss the subjectivity and fluidity of personality, Reaper took over finishing up the account for Sonorhc. Now it was done. It was time for her to get Sorted.

"But do I really have to?" Sonorhc whined again. "Why can't I just be me? Why do I need to know this?"

"Fun," Reaper said, repeating what she had said earlier as she shoved Sonorhc into the chair.

"This just feels pointless, useless and arbitrary," Sonorhc continued to gripe. "I mean heck, why not go back to the days when people would brag about their IQ rather than the stars that just so happened to be in the sky when they came out of their mother's womb?!"

"Because IQ measures intelligence, not personality," said Reaper.

"Yet people would still use it to sort themselves and try to predict their life trajectory," Sonorhc argued.

"Well, what is your IQ?" Reaper asked, this was something they'd never discussed before.

"I don't know," Sonorhc said honestly. "You should know by now that I avoid tests like this. I don't think they are useful and I don't want to sort myself based off of anything. Besides, I think it's a bit rude and arrogant to try to sort yourself with your IQ score and brag about it."

"Just take the stupid quiz," Reaper sighed tiredly and Sonorhc finally caved, but after a few questions, she began to complain again.

"Oh come on! Look!" she gestured to the screen in exasperation. "Some of these questions are so painfully obvious that it would be easy for me to cheat my way through, lie, and get the House that I wanted!"

"Well don't," Reaper snapped, smacking Sonorhc lightly on the head. "Just pick something, but answer honestly!"

"Ok, first off, ouch!" Sonorhc grunted. "And second off, what if I don't know? Or what if my answer would change? Because that's actually another issue I have with some of these tests. They don't really seem to allow for change. What if what you value today is not something you value tomorrow? I even had that experience with the MBTI, actually. I was first classified as INTJ, but a few years later, it switched over to INFJ!"

"Oh wow. A whole single letter," Reaper deadpanned.

"No, listen!" Sonorhc pouted, turning away from the laptop again. Reaper gave her a despairing look, which she ignored. "Even though it was a small change, it's one I actually agree with. In those few years between MBTI testings, I underwent a bit of a mental and emotional change, a paradigm shift. I began to value kindness over intelligence. My personality changed because my beliefs changed. Does the Sorting Hat allow for that? Or are we supposed to assume it already knows exactly what change you will go through during your years at Hogwarts? You know how I feel about predestination and prophecy. Even if free will is an illusion, I still hate stories where the character's actions don't technically matter because some sort of prophecy already spells the entire storyline out!"

"Hmmm, it sounds like you might be a Hufflepuff," Nevermore mused with a smile as she considered Sonorhc's values and beliefs.

"What? The Queen of the Grouches?" Reaper snorted.

"No, the girl who says she places love, kindness, acceptance and fairness above all else," Nevermore replied, eyes softening as she looked at Sonorhc, who was still scowling.

"And that's another thing!" she said.

"Oh no, what have I done?" Reaper despaired as Sonorhc gave yet another reason why she hated personality tests.

"The stereotypes! All Gryffindors are brave or foolhardy. All Ravenclaws are eccentric or nerdy. All Hufflepuffs are nice. All Slytherins are evil. Come on! That's a bunch of crap! And _Harry Potter_ isn't even the only series guilty of stereotyping personality traits! I mean, _Warriors Cats_ has the four clans with ThunderClan essentially Gryffindor and ShadowClan essentially being Slytherin! Even the _names_ are stereotypical!"

"Oh, yeah, I didn't like that either," Nevermore agreed with Sonorhc, cringing as she thought about the _Warriors Cats_ series. She loved the books, but it did bother her that _Shadow_ Clan was the most corrupt and broken. And with a name like "ThunderClan", of course _they_ were the heroes.

And of course, as an Umbramage, Nevermore wouldn't exactly be pleased with the way shadows were equated to evil in the _Warriors_ world. And similarly, she wouldn't like the way all of ShadowClan would be equally vicious or stupid. Even if it was true that certain groups would start to acquire and retain certain traits, the extent to which it was taken in these book series always seemed a bit extreme. Unless mob mentality really was that bad. But honestly, why were there only like four good Slytherins? And why was ShadowClan always the group to go astray? And actually, one more thing Sonorhc forgot to mention was that one of the bullies of ThunderClan was named _Dark_ stripe. Yeah. And for Slytherins, of course the Snake House would be the evil one. That was more negative stereotyping, associating morality, animals and personality all in one. And then of course, the brave, handsome lions belonged to the heroic Gryffindors. It was all pretty typical, wasn't it?

" _Divergent_ did the same thing!" Sonorhc continued. "The Dauntless were the heroes of the story while the Erudite were the villains. And yes, I get how an entire group can become the villains, but why was it so… unanimous? I mean, at least there were some bad, jerkish Dauntless and not every single Erudite was like a stereotypical Slytherin, but overall, all you needed to hear was a character's faction and you could pretty much guess their personality from that alone. And again, of course, the hero was in the brave group. I mean, she was also a super special Divergent, but she still wound up choosing the brave group. Just like Harry Potter, Fireheart and any other place where a brave group is an option."

"Well at least they didn't just make an overtly evil group," Reaper tried to say. "It would be like rewriting _Harry Potter_ with Ravenclaws as the bad guys. At least Divergent was creative enough to pretty much discuss the dark side of intelligence."

"True," Sonorhc allowed. "But it was still kind of cliché and predictable. And even though the series did sort of pick on the smart guys, they were also vilifying the trait of ambition, which is pretty much panned universally in books like these." And she didn't need to say more for her two friends to understand. Slytherins were the bad guys and ambition was one of their big traits. Tigerstar was the main antagonist of the first Warriors Cats series and he eventually became leader of ShadowClan as well as being described as highly ambitious. Then there was the Erudite faction. Yeah. For some reason, books like these hated ambition, despite often having the classic moral of following your dreams or never giving up.

"And actually, going back to stereotypically ambitious, cold and evil groups, even the Zodiac has one!" Sonorhc cried.

"Yup, the Scorpios," Nevermore nodded at once. More animal symbolism there, that the dark and broody ones of the Zodiac would be _scorpions_.

"And _Percy Jackson_ does the same thing!" Sonorhc continued. "I mean, maybe it makes a tad more sense that the traits would match up since the characters are _children_ of the gods, but I'm still not over how the main child of Hades wound up looking and acting like a stereotypical emo-goth teen boy who crawled out of Hot Topic in black clothing, silver skulls and depression! Your parents essentially determine your personality!"

"Ooof, and all of Aphrodite was full of lovesick makeup gurus, even guys!" Nevermore cringed. "I mean, there's nothing wrong with a feminine man, but they essentially feminized love. They weakened and simplified it down to its barebones stereotypes!"

"Exactly!" Sonorhc cried. "Rather than respecting love for the powerful force that it is, or wishing to go in depth with it, the Aphrodite cabin basically became a Barbie doll house full of idiotic princesses! Don't they know there's more to love and romance than just pink, frilly things? Show me a warrior Aphrodite who would die or kill for the ones she loves. Show me a sexual Aphrodite who treats sexuality as natural, healthy and beautiful rather than scandalous or sinful or dirty. Show me a queer Aphrodite that draws love as more than a heteronormative femininity!"

"And if you got to the second series, the one Aphrodite girl who is supposed to be our leading lady is the 'Not Like Other Girls' type," said Nevermore and Sonorhc looked both offended, disgusted and horrified.

"Oh great! Now we're vilifying femininity and romance by making the one heroic Aphrodite girl a tomboy! How progressive!" she rolled her eyes angrily. In her opinion, the 'Not Like Other Girls' trope was very egotistical and wrong. First off, it implied that _every_ girl (except the main hero, of course) was going to be a feminine idiot. Then it implied that there was something inherently wrong and stupid about being feminine. There was only one token Aphrodite hero girl in the first series. One. That was it. And then the next one was the hero who scorned feminine things. Yeah.

"Well what about the _Hunger Games_?" Reaper asked. "That's a book that didn't really deal with sorting!"

"Oh come on, like the fans didn't turn it into a sorting long ago!" Sonorhc snorted, and she had a point. Even though _Hunger Games_ was probably the most different in terms of how it sorted its characters, the fans certainly liked to choose their Districts based upon what traits they had.

"Ok, fair enough," Reaper laughed. "I always thought I'd do well in Districts 7 or 10."

"Lumber or livestock?" Nevermore snorted. "I'm not even remotely surprised. You're chaos incarnate, trouble and disasters made flesh!"

"I could cut down so many trees and slaughter so many cattle so easily!" Reaper grinned proudly, flexing her fingers.

"Well, if you're ever in the Games, tell me so that I know to avoid it. You'd win way too easily," Sonorhc muttered, eyeing Reaper warily.

"What can I say? I love me some head-bashing!" Reaper laughed and winked.

"Then it sounds like you'd do better in a Career District," Nevermore remarked, eyeing Reaper as well. She definitely had the hotheaded and feisty spirit to be a Career Tribute. Maybe she was a bit too friendly, funny and sweet, but she could certainly be aggressive enough.

"I actually did used to consider myself a 2 before realizing that I'd get to be more _destructive_ in 7 or 10," Reaper nodded. "Besides, 2 is where they housed the Peacekeepers and as bloodthirsty as I may be, I don't wanna be one of those jerks," she added and Nevermore laughed in agreement. Reaper was not a rule-follower and there would definitely be a lot of that in the place that trained the Captiol's police force and army.

"I would probably put myself in District 1 just because I'm a sucker for luxury goods," said Nevermore, then she and Reaper began to laugh again.

"See, I told you people even try to sort themselves into Districts!" Sonorhc cried, gesturing to Reaper and Nevermore.

"Ok, ok, I see your point!" Reaper yielded. "But can we please just finish this quiz now? I wanna see what House you're in!"

"I'm just going to intentionally click every Ravenclaw-ish answer," Sonorhc replied as they all turned back to the laptop.

"What? No! Come on! No fair! I thought you said you valued honesty and fairness!" Reaper whined.

"I actually preferred the acceptance and tolerance parts," Sonorhc smirked dryly as she sped through the Pottermore quiz. "Besides, we can't all be perfect all the time. And in terms of fairness and honesty, I meant for human rights, not for silly little sorting tests."

"Cheater," Reaper pouted as the screen switched over to a Ravenclaw aesthetic.

"Well, welcome to my House," said Nevermore with a small smile.

"Oh, what, for real?" Sonorhc asked almost in disbelief.

"Hey, my name came before my House!" Nevermore defended herself. "I didn't choose this nickname based on getting into Ravenclaw." And this was the truth. Nevermore's first nickname had been "Netta", in honor of the Umbra Witch, Bayonetta (who hailed from a videogame of the same name). But after realizing that she and Bayonetta were total opposites in terms of personality, Nevermore switched to Nevermore. It was an obvious reference, but she chose the name because the character was mellower. And in her mind's eye, by naming herself after such a tragic line, she could sort of redeem it by being a fairly happy, chipper person. She liked to say that it was her goal to change "Nevermore" into "Evermore". She wanted to turn the tragic raven into one of peace and acceptance. She had been known as "Nevermore" ever since.

"Isn't their mascot supposed to be an eagle anyway?" Reaper asked, still pouting as Sonorhc scrolled through the Ravenclaw page.

"Yeah, but for some reason the movies made it a raven," Nevermore agreed. "I mean, I know that it would make more sense for it to be a raven based on the House's name, but then I'd ask why the Gryffindor mascot is a lion rather than a griffin."

"I honestly wish it _was_ a griffin," Reaper agreed. "They're cooler than just lions."

"Well what does it matter to you? You're a Slytherin," said Sonorhc.

"And proud of it!" Reaper agreed, puffing out her chest. "But I _was_ almost a Gryffindor," she added. "Though I would've been happy in either. But regardless, I can still have my opinions about the mascots, even if they aren't _my_ mascot."

"Fair enough," Sonorhc allowed, then she turned to Nevermore. "How about you? What do you prefer? Raven or eagle?"

"Well, eagles look cooler, but ravens are actually smarter so, in my opinion, the raven actually fits better, and not just because of the name."

"And it does fit in with the magical theme," Sonorhc agreed. "After all, ravens and crows have been witches' familiars, but have eagles?"

"I still wish you had played fairly," Reaper complained, turning the conversation back to the test.

"Well hey, maybe I did. Maybe by intentionally manipulating the answers in my favor, I proved my Ravenclaw status by using this big old brain of mine to come up with that plan! I mean would you still call me a Hufflepuff after a stunt like this?" she gestured to the computer.

"Point taken," Reaper grumbled.

"Well, I would," Nevermore replied at the exact same time. "Sure, it was a dishonest thing you did, but like you yourself said, no person will ever fit their category perfectly. I'll bet you at least a few Hufflepuffs have lied and cheated in their lifetime. It's not like a single lie will get you kicked out, and no one tells the full and complete truth 100% of the time. So I still think you could be a Hufflepuff."

"Well, it looks like now, I'm a Ravenclaw," Sonorhc sat back with a smug expression on her face.

"Cheater," Reaper repeated.

"Well, that just goes to show why I don't like personality tests," Sonorhc said smugly.

"Well that's the problem with self-report, which you intentionally broke," Reaper snapped.

"True," Sonorhc agreed with a laugh. "But I still maintain that Zodiacs, Houses, Factions and Clans are all a load of hooey!"

"What about the MBTI?" Nevermore asked. "Or maybe the Enneagram or Big Five tests?"

"Just as subjective," Sonorhc answered. "Depending on where I am, I will have fluctuating amounts of the Big Five (if indeed, there are only five traits I should worry about). And as for the Enneagram? I can see myself in at least three personalities. And the Enneagram has the same problem as Zodiacs. They have "wings" and "connections" which essentially allows you to explain away any instance where your real personality diverts from your assigned number. And they associate each number with a certain sin and virtue, which is another thing I have issue with."

"There's just no winning with you, is there?" Reaper sighed.

"Sins and virtues, eh?" Nevermore talked over Reaper, asking Sonorhc to continue.

"Well for one thing, the Seven Sins and Virtues appear nowhere in the Bible. For another, no human has _one_ sin or virtue. They're intertwined. Envy can lead to greed, gluttony, wrath and lust, for example. Or lust can bring about envy, gluttony and wrath. And for another example, the sins that the Bible _does_ mention don't always align with the Seven. For example, the sins of working on the Sabbath, dishonoring your parents, eating the wrong type of food, divorcing, and even _magic use and magic users_. What Sins would those fall under, exactly? Or would it _depend on the context_ and _change_ based on motive?"

"Hmmmm, interesting," Nevermore had never really been into religious studies, but she knew it was something of a requirement for anyone who worked with Death Magic, particularly if they were into the resurrection aspects. It made sense, then, that Sonorhc would know quite a lot about this sort of topic. Her main focus in magic, after all, was death and resurrection, which was a hot topic in nearly every religion. In fact, there was even a joke that Jesus was pretty much a Necromage, given the bunch of people he brought back from the dead (himself included).

"So pretty much any personality test you can think of, even if it's scientific, will have a boatload of criticism following it. That's why, no matter how credible your test is, I will still always doubt how truly honest and useful it is," Sonorhc concluded. "I know every test will always have its flaws, but if you look up the list of complaints with our aforementioned tests, you can see where my skepticism comes into play."

"Is skepticism a Ravenclaw trait?" Reaper interrupted, trying to interject herself back into the conversation. "Because she's got it in spades."

"Well, I suppose there is a stereotype that nerdier people tend to be more skeptical," Nevermore said slowly. "But then other times, we're linked with being the dreamy, weird, eccentric types who are more likely to believe in unusual stuff than the average joe."

"I just think humanity spends too much time trying to sort itself and not enough time trying to create itself," Sonorhc shrugged. "If you will allow me to be philisophical and pretentious, I would put it that we spend more time studying the past in order to gage the future rather than just making the future for ourselves and choosing our own destinies, rather than letting stars, hats, gods and tests try to tell us who we will become! We can decide that for ourselves as freethinking agents of our own stories!"

"Spoken like a true Ravenclaw," Nevermore joked. "You got the head of a Ravenclaw and heart of a Hufflepuff!"

"Hmph," Reaper grunted, rolling her eyes at the two bird-brains.

"Oh what? Thrown off by how easily I fit into either House?" Sonorhc teased. "It's almost like personality is fluid and can fluctuate. Crazy huh?"

"Oh, whatever," Reaper stuck her tongue out at Sonorhc, then she leaned over and shut the laptop off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: This is just me being a whiny little idiot about humanity's obsession with sorting ourselves into different groups. Seriously, there are so many YA series that do this. And furthermore, I'm here to also complain about the stereotypes that arise in this sorting obsession. And that includes non-YA things like Zodiac signs and all the more scientific tests. 
> 
> And also, when I wrote this, I was in a psych class where we had an entire unit over the theories of personality and how we test it and a lot of the stuff I talked about in this story were things that came up in class.


	4. Classic Elemenets

"The _Classics_? Oh, come on!" Sonorhc rolled her eyes and sighed as she studied her phone.

"What's the matter now?" Reaper asked, catching Sonorhc's tired, deadpanning tone even over the noise of the cafeteria.

"This," Sonorhc replied, handing her phone to Reaper. On the screen was a list of names divided into two teams. It was for a game of Capture the Flag that Sonorhc was going to play that night. Every once in a while, all the young magic-users of her neighborhood would get together for a game night and this was one of those nights. It wasn't the choice of game that annoyed Sonorhc, however, it was how the teams were aligned. The first was titled "The Classic Elements" and the second was titled "The Other Elements".

"So?" Reaper asked as she read the names, not understanding what had annoyed Sonorhc.

"Doesn't he realize how… inaccurate and narrow those team names are?" Sonorhc asked back, gesturing to the phone as if she couldn't believe that Reaper somehow _didn't_ get why she was so mad.

"Uhhhh, inaccurate and narrow?" Reaper asked back in confusion as she looked away from Sonorhc's phone to meet Sonorhc's eyes.

"The Classic Elements," Sonorhc cried, but then she quickly calmed herself back down. She knew she was thinking crazy, so she had to slow down and catch Reaper up. "The name implies that there are a set number of elements above or before all the others," she began, trying to be clearer.

"But that's right, isn't it?" asked Reaper, tilting her head. "Fire, water, earth and air! What's wrong with that?"

"Weeeellllll…" Sonorhc took a moment to collect her thoughts. "It's actually debatable, what you just said. I mean, you are right that those are the classic elements, but that's only if you look at it from a Greek perspective. Other cultures sometimes had different core elements."

Then Sonorhc went into more detail. As she had said, the concept of fire, water, earth and air being the "core four" was a Greek idea. The Chinese, however, had five elements and they were fire, water, earth, wood and metal. Then, in Japanese lore, it was fire, water, earth, wind and void. But even beyond that, even places that accepted the Greek four would sometimes add a fifth, like heart/soul/life/energy/magic/raw power. And even for China, the way they divided up their elements, the element of metal included light and lightning.

And other places would add light, dark, life, death, good, evil, holy, demonic/evil, ice, and even poison. Then there were also debates about whether or not sky, air and wind were the same or different (the answer varying based upon who you asked). Similarly, the element of storm/weather was sometimes different from electricity/lightning, but other times, they were bunched together. And sometimes, they were even bunched under air, sky and/or wind. It was more arbitrary categorization.

All of that went to say, as far as Sonorhc was concerned, limiting the "Classic" elements to their Greek interpretations was a bit shallow, unoriginal and maybe even inadvertently… insensitive. Of course, she was not saying that it was an active act of Greek superiority, but the fact that so much of the world (or at least, the _western_ world) _did_ call fire, water, earth and air as _the main four elements_ gave proof that perhaps people's minds needed to be broadened a bit.

"You've been hanging around Nevermore too much," Reaper scoffed as Sonorhc finished her explanation.

"No I haven't!" Sonorhc cried. "I found all this stuff out all by myself!"

"What? When? And why?" Reaper scoffed again. "I know you're philisophical, but this sounds like the stuff Nevermore would like, not you."

"Well, I confess that it was a bit of an accident," Sonorhc's frown turned into a look of sheepish embarrassment.

"An accident? How do you _accidentally_ research all of this? Did you somehow read an entire history book without realizing what it was? Or better yet, did you trip and fall into an open book and the page you landed on had a chart of cultural elements? Or even better still, were you looking for a… _certain type_ of website only to click on the wrong link?" Reaper laughed at her own jokes.

"No," Sonorhc ducked her head embarrassedly. "Or. Well. It was sort of that last one…"

"It was?!" Reaper began shrieking with laughter and she elbowed Sonorhc suggestively.

"No, not like that!" Sonorhc cried quickly, trying to hush Reaper. "I was trying to research the elements for chemistry and I wound up on a page talking about the "Classic" elements instead of the Periodic ones!"

"Ha! Even better!" Reaper kept laughing. "I mean, I guess that explains why you almost failed chem! You were studying the wrong elements!"

"It was because the discourse about how many Classic elements there were was far more fun than the discourse about how many Periodic elements there were," Sonorhc tried to defend herself. "Besides, don't act all superior! I still finished with a higher grade than you!"

"Yeah, a C+ rather than a C-! Big whoop," Reaper was still laughing.

"I still don't know how you even managed anything above an F," Sonorhc sighed and rolled her eyes.

"Nevermore," Reaper snickered.

"Ah. I should've known," Sonorhc rolled her eyes again. "Did you cheat? Or did you ask?"

"Both," Reaper smirked. "Nevermore _let_ me cheat!" When Sonorhc gave her a look of disbelief, Reaper raised her hands defensively. "Hey, Nevermore may be a nerd, but she absolutely _hates_ the school system and will gladly break any rule to piss it off, including allowing me to cheat!" she cried, and Sonorhc had to agree. Nevermore loved to learn, but she _hated_ school (and she was very, very vocal about it).

"Besides, she finished with a B, so she wasn't exactly top of the class either," Reaper continued.

"Well to be fair, chem was a hard class. I don't think anyone liked it," Sonorhc said.

"Well, I think a few kids managed to get As, but it certainly wasn't us, the Three Stooges!" Reaper joked.

"Well Nevermore is still smart," Sonorhc tried to say. "She's not a Stooge and she still finished with a fairly high grade, even if it wasn't an A."

"Actually, she _earns_ every good grade she gets. She's not a Hermione Granger or an Annabeth Chase, whose intelligence is natural," Reaper corrected Sonorhc. "I'm not saying she isn't smart. I'm just saying she has to work for it. Why do you think she studies so much?"

"Because she's an introvert?" Sonorhc joked and Reaper couldn't help but laugh in agreement.

"Ok, fair enough," she chuckled. It was no secret Nevermore was a homebody. There was no place she loved more than her bed and bedroom!

"I wonder if she'll join the game tonight?" Sonorhc mused, now that Nevermore was on their minds.

"Of course she will!" Reaper replied confidently. Even though Nevermore was a very unathletic and very introverted person, if the event involved magic and friends, she would always attend. Tonight's game would have both. She did have a chatty streak, after all, she just needed to be with her friends first. And that would definitely be a reality at tonight's game, so Nevermore would most definitely be there.

"I'm willing to bet money on it," Reaper promised.

"Hmmmm… I wonder what she'll think about this Elemental Excitement?" Sonorhc replied, rubbing her thin thoughtfully.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: More random, rambling rants about the arbitrary and Greek/Eurocentric way the western world categorizes stuff! 
> 
> (I'm splitting this little storyline into multiple chapters, too, since it would be impossibly long otherwise). 
> 
> And I've made other edits to previous chapters, if you care for a reread.


	5. More Arbitrary Categorizations

"I don't mind it, honestly," Nevermore shrugged as she, Reaper and Sonorhc headed to the forest where Capture the Flag was going to be held. "I mean, I see your point, but no matter what you consider to be the Classic Elements, none of us are ever on the list anyway," she said.

"Well, I guess I'm more annoyed at how uncreative and unoriginal it is," Sonorhc admitted, a bit calmer now that the day was winding down.

"You don't say?" Reaper teased, nudging the smaller girl playfully. Sonorhc grinned and stuck her tongue out in return.

A few minutes later, the trio reached the main clearing.

"Hey, hey, hey!" a boisterous voice called out to them from above. The trio looked up to see a handsome young man saluting them from the trees. His name was 420-Blazeit and his specialization in magic was quite obvious. But if his name didn't sell it, his appearance should have. Although his hair was black, he'd dyed the tips red, orange, yellow and gold, and he had bright, fiery colors on the rest of his clothing. In fact, he'd even created himself a pair of contacts that flickered different shades of orange and gold based on where and how you looked at him.

"Hey Blazeit!" the trio waved up at him as he bounced nimbly back down the tree to greet them all properly. Reaper, in particular, was happy to see Blazeit. Though they were not related, they were practically brother and sister.

But it wasn't just their fiery, feisty and playful personalities that they had in common. They also shared quite the long history, having been friends practically from birth. They had been neighbors for about the first 10 years of their lives before Reaper moved away, but even though they no longer lived right next door to one another, they were still best friends. They loved to butt heads and goof off and it was hard to find a more lively, loveable duo anywhere else! They were Double Trouble incarnate!

Then, while the Pyromage and Necromage greeted one another with noogies and back-slaps, Nevermore and Sonorhc looked around in attempt to find their other mage friends. After about 10 minutes, the rest of the group showed up. There were Pyromages, Hydromages, Geomages, Aeromages, Photomages, Umbramages, Cryomages, Keraunomages, Biomages, Phytomages, Toxomages, Metallomages, Necromages and many, many more. The noise only grew as the newcomers continued to arrive. Things only fell quiet once the man of the hour finally showed up.

"Alright everybody, settle down just for a few seconds! Then y'all can go wild!" the boy cried. It was Smokey, another Pyromage. Tonight's game had been his idea, so he was the leader. "All magic is allowed, but make an effort to avoid lasting damage, both to your fellow humans and to the forest itself. I'd prefer to have this place still standing by the time the game is done," he cast a look at Blazeit who only smirked.

"I don't think we need to worry too much," he joked. "Besides, if anyone or anything dies, we've got at least three Necromages here to help!" Blazeit's fire-colored eyes turned to Sonorhc and the few other Necromages in the crowd.

"I'll make sure to bring you back wrong," Sonorhc replied in deadpan, though everyone knew she was only kidding.

"Man, that's cold. Just chill out," one of the Cryomages teased.

"Oh, shut it, Elsa," Sonorhc rolled her eyes as she turned towards the Cryomage. His real name was Abomitable, a mashup between "abominable" and "indomitable", in reference to his icy powers and his skill in combat.

"Don't you mean _let it go_?" he teased back. Sonorhc rolled her eyes again as several nearby voices began to hum the well-sung tune in reply.

"Either way, I'm just asking everyone to try not to leave this forest in ruins once our game is over! I already expect at least 35% of the trees to be crashed into and/or mowed down, but I still want most of this forest alive by tomorrow so we can host more of these games in the future!" Smokey said, reigning everyone back in. "Can we agree to that?" he asked. A chorus of agreements met his question. "Excellent!" he nodded back gratefully. "Now it's time to get into our teams!"

By the time everyone was in place, the "Classic" Elements found themselves quite outnumbered by everyone else.

"Yeah, this is the only practical problem I can see with choosing the Core Four," Nevermore whispered as Smokey recounted.

"Ok, let's have our metal and plant people join the Classics!" he said, and after the reshuffle, things were more balanced.

"Looks like you're getting your Chinese elements after all," Reaper whispered in amusement.

"Oh, is that what this was about?" Nevermore's tone matched Reaper's as she, too, turned to look at Sonorhc. Although the trio had discussed the different elemental combinations earlier, Nevermore hadn't quite understood where the question had come from until now.

"Oh, you know Sonorhc," Reaper said dismissively. "She whines about everything!"

"Hey!" Sonorhc pouted. "I just wanted things to be a bit more creative and accurate! Greek myths aren't the only myths out there, you know?"

"Accurate?" Nevermore echoed with a snort. "Nothing about modern magic is accurate! I mean, have you _seen_ the debates on what to call us!?"

"Oh, trust me, I'm well aware of that controversy too," Sonorhc gave a dry, grim smile at the thought.

The debate over proper names for magic types and users was perhaps the oldest and fiercest of all. Technically, the suffix "-magy" was not real. But someone, somewhere, somehow, decided that it was the best fit as a general term. Then, to turn it into a noun, one simple changed the "y" to an "e". But because "-magy" wasn't technical or official, certain people began to insist upon using other terms, like "-kinesis" and "-urgy".

"-mancy" was a popular one until other groups pointed out that "-mancy" technically meant "divination". One could not use "-mancy" as a general term. If you weren't a diviner of some sort, you weren't a mancer. But others argued while that was the _old_ definition for "mancer", that rule did not have to be eternal. The people who were more insistent that words could change definitions over time had been the same people who rallied for all elemental magic to be some sort of "-mancy".

And then for users of magic, there were far more options to choose from. "-kineticist" and "-urgist" fit for "-kinesis" and "-urgy", but other proposed ideas included "-ologist", "-sopher", "-ist", "-st", "-ers", "-tropist", and "-scopist" (among many others). But for those who were not too technical, suggestions included simple "-er" words, like "bender", "crafter", "wielder", or "user". Perhaps they weren't as fancy or intellectual, but for the sake of ease and simplicity, it was a much better option. But because every magic user on the planet and their mother had a different idea about the best suffixes, it really was on a case-by-case basis what people were called. It was more arbitrary categorization.

For example, Sonorhc herself used the term "Necromage". Because she did not raise the dead in order to gain information from them, she did not consider herself a mancer/diviner. She brought back the dead to give them new life, or because she needed a few bodies to bend to her will. Since that technically did not involve divination, she did not use the term "Necromancer", even if it was the more well-known term. But others were more liberal in their use of the term "Necromancer". Similarly, Blazeit considered himself a Pyromancer because he _did_ sometimes divine from flames. Smokey, however, stuck to the term Pyromage, because all he did was create and use flames, but he did not attempt to read them.

"Is arguing part of being a mage too?" Reaper asked as she, too, reflected upon the old debate about proper magic nomenclature. "First we've got the elements, then we've got this naming stuff. And yes, as annoying as Sonorhc's rants can be, she has a point that our world does tend to favor Greek and Latin over any other culture when it comes to naming stuff."

"Well, I guess the debate keeps our minds sharp!" Nevermore shrugged. But before she, or anyone else, could say more, the game began!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Yeah, more of me using these mages to talk about arbitrary categorization, this time with elemental magic. 
> 
> And yes, this is why I changed "mancer" to "mage", since research finally got it through my thick skull that "mancy" is not "general magic", but rather, it is "divination". 
> 
> But if anyone reads this crap and has any suffixes they prefer, please let me know, because IDK what I'm doing. I just chose mage/magy because it was the easiest choice. But let me know if there's anything more accurate out there. Thx in advance! And thx for getting through this entire chapter! You're awesome for that!


	6. Crazy, Cunning Scheme

"Alright, start conjuring up some undead minions!" Reaper cried as the forest once again came alive with action and noise as nearly 40 pairs of feet thundered along the dark paths. Already, they could hear hooting and hollering and they could see magic flying through the air.

"First off, give me a second! Second off, it's not like I can just snap my fingers and bring back a zombie!" Sonorhc shouted back over the din.

"Well, technically, you _can_ ," Reaper replied. "I've seen you do it before!"

"But do you remember how much energy that took?!" Sonorhc screeched. "I was in the hospital for over a month and nearly dead for half that time!" And this was not an exaggeration in the slightest.

Although very advanced Necromages could call upon the undead with ease, younger Necromages (like Sonorhc) had to choose the slower route. Sure, it was far more tedious, but it was a lot safer. The one time Sonorhc had called upon a dead creature without going through the proper rigamarole of finding a body to piece together and reanimate slowly was when she and Reaper had nearly gotten killed by a werewolf. They had gone camping, not realizing that it was a full moon _and_ not realizing that there was even a werewolf in the area at all.

They were rudely awoken halfway through the night when the slobbering beast came howling at their tent. Reaper was able to slow it down by using her energy-draining ability, but she was nowhere near strong enough to kill it, at least not without a lot of time and focus (both of which were hard to come by while being chased by a hungry werewolf). But even though Reaper hadn't had the strength, power or knowledge to _kill_ the werewolf with her powers, draining/weakening it gave her and Sonorhc just enough time to get out of dodge and get ahead of the wolf. That was when Sonorhc's resurrection power came into play, but even then, it hadn't been much.

At first, Sonorhc had tried to sense the nearby bones of a rabbit, or a mouse, or some other small prey-creature, but when nothing came of it, she chose to go the harder and riskier route of imagining the creature's spirit. Spirits were easier to find and summon, but Sonorhc wasn't just bringing back a ghost. Instead, once she had the ghost of a rabbit, knowing they didn't have time to find its bones, she simply imagined the flesh, muscles, organs and bones materializing back into the ghost until she had an ugly little zombie-rabbit hopping feebly around at her feet. It was totally mindless, more of a vessel or an object than a living being, but that was all Sonorhc needed. Just as long as the creature was some degree of physically living, that was all that mattered.

Sonorhc was able to use the resurrected rabbit to distract the werewolf long enough for her and Reaper to sneak away. But halfway during their escape, that was when Sonorhc shut down. Reaper was left to carry her nearly lifeless body to help and she, as she had said, remained in this catatonic state, nearly dead, for over half a month. And that was all from trying to resurrect one little rabbit! Sure, some Necromages could summon entire human armies in the same way Sonorhc had resurrected that rabbit, but that took _decades_ of hardcore, agonizing practice. Anyone foolish enough to try anything too high above their skill level would suffer the same fate Sonorhc did, if not worse.

"Oh, don't worry about that! I came prepared!" Reaper grinned wickedly. She then pulled several dead birds out of her coat pocket.

"What the-?!" Sonorhc's eye twitched as she pointed wordlessly to the bodies in Reaper's hands.

"Since I knew we'd be on the same team, I stocked up!" Reaper grinned proudly as Sonorhc's eye continued to twitch. "Right before we came over, I used my draining powers to get rid of a few birds in my yard! It's why I made sure to wear my coat with _large_ pockets! Now come on! It's time for you to use _your_ magic on these little devils!" then she shoved the bodies into Sonorhc's hands.

"I… don't even know… what to say…" Sonorhc blinked, looking back and forth between the birds and the girl who smuggled them in.

"Whatever incantation it is that you need to conjure up some zombie birds?" Reaper gestured to the bodies again.

"You're crazy," Sonorhc decided finally, blinking and shaking her head.

"But you love me anyway!" Reaper's smug grin widened.

"I suppose this _is_ about what I'd expect from you," Sonorhc sighed, Reaper's snide remark bringing her back to her senses. "You and your crazy, cunning schemes!" she whispered as she shook her head again, then she began to concentrate on the dead birds.

A couple minutes later, three mindless, resurrected birds flew through the ever-darkening sky, controlled by Sonorhc's will. She had them scout from above for the enemy team's flag.

"Man, I love it when you do that!" Reaper whispered with undisguised glee as she watched the resurrected birds fly along. Sonorhc grinned proudly to herself but said nothing as she and her companions moved deeper and deeper into the forest after their compatriots.

At last, someone found the flag, but it was not Sonorhc. Instead, it was another Necromage who also had a specialization in resurrection. They managed to find the body of a small wildcat and, after bringing it back, had it do the same thing Sonorhc's birds were trying to do. Once the zombie-cat managed to locate the enemy flag, it scuttled back to its creator to spread the word.

"Apparently there's a small creek a little bit farther to the northeast!" the Necromage said as the cat returned to them. "That's where the flag is!"

"Well then what are we waiting for?!" Reaper asked excitedly.

"A plan," Abomitable replied. "We can't just charge in there blindly!"

"Sure we can!" Reaper replied confidently, but everyone knew she was just kidding. Reckless as she was, Reaper was still a skilled fighter, and one did not become a skilled fighter by being reckless. Underneath her cockiness, Reaper knew full well how important a good strategy was.

"We'd only do that if we wanted to _lose_ ," Abomitable pretended to correct Reaper, even though he knew she was only joking. "And besides, I actually have a plan already in mind! Humor me and let's give it a whirl!" he said, then he explained.

It was his plan to split up their team into four groups. They would all approach the flag from different sides, each group acting as if _they_ were going to be the group to get the flag. In actuality, though, three of the groups were only diversions and they would focus less on getting the flag and more on keeping a pathway open for that fourth and official group to actually get the flag.

Nevermore and the two other Umbramages on the team were going to come in from the north, using their shadow powers to get there. Reaper and a few of the bolder mages were going to come from the south, pretending as if they actually _were_ trying to just storm the enemy base. Then Sonorhc and the other Necromages were going to come from the west.

"See if you can resurrect at least one large creature, like a deer. Pretend you're going to use it in the final attack, but you don't actually have to, if you don't want to," Abomitable instructed. And then that left him and everyone else for last. They were going to come in from the east and _they_ were going to be the group that actually got the flag.

"What a crazy, cunning scheme!" Reaper cried approvingly and everyone else around her echoed their agreement.

"Well, it's all part and parcel of being the Snow Queen," Abomitable joked. "Gotta defend my kingdom somehow!" From 2014 onward, pretty much every Cryomage was subject to at least a million _Frozen_ jokes and Abomitable was one of the few to never ever get tired of them. On the contrary, he reveled in it and there had been a time when he seriously considered changing his nickname to Elsa. He ultimately stayed with Abomitable just because that had more history for him, but it had been a close call.

"Of course, your highness! You make an excellent leader!" Reaper continued the joke, giving Abomitable a deep curtsey.

"Uhhh, excuse me, that's 'your _majesty_ '! I _am_ a Queen after all! Not a mere Princess!" Abomitable corrected Reaper, pretending to be offended.

"Oh, no! You must execute me for the crimes of dishonoring my king and failing my kingdom!" Reaper cried in mock despair.

"Maybe if you prove yourself in tonight's battle, I will change my mind and spare you," Abomitable replied with a wink. At the reminder of their crazy, cunning scheme, Reaper's face lit up, and so did everyone else's.

"Are we ready to head out, then?" the Necromage with the cat asked eagerly.

"Yes," Abomitable replied, then no one needed any further instruction before heading out.

While Nevermore and the other two Umbramages activated their shadow powers and seemingly melted right into the darkness, Reaper led her crew straight up towards the enemy flag. She had a cocky and confident gleam in her eyes as she led the charge, hardly able to conceal her excitement. At the same time, Abomitable took his group southeastward in order to create the illusion that they had come in from the east. A thin sheen of ice spread out from underneath his feet and created a nice little skating path to help speed everyone along. Then lastly, Sonorhc and her Necromages headed west, using their powers to help them find the body and/or bones of a deer. It was a crazy, cunning scheme and everyone was eager to see how it would unfold!


	7. Sweet, Sweet Victory

All four groups reached the flag at the same time and their plan proceeded exactly as discussed. There were more guards at the enemy flag than expected, but Abomitable had brought so many of his own team that he was not concerned at all. Their enemies could not say the same.

"Did you bring everyone?!" Smokey cried as he watched his enemies emerge right out of the shadows (in Nevermore's case, this was literal).

"Nah, we're just really good at planning!" Abomitable grinned before blasting him with a bitingly cold wind and freezing him in place.

"Remember, I specialize in smoke, and in fires that aren't necessarily bright, but are still powerful!" Smokey warned Abomitable with chattering teeth. He managed to conjure up a tiny, sputtering flame. It wasn't much, but it withstood Abomitable's next icy blast and before he could try a third time, a nearby Phytomage came to Smokey's aid. Using her magic, she had the branches of the trees reach out like hands for Abomitable.

"Karma!" Smokey snickered as Abomitable suddenly found himself as immobilized and ensnared as Smokey.

"Jerk," Abomitable pouted. At the same time, Smokey's fire began to grow. But because he was focusing more on the heavy heat rather than the blinding flames, it didn't take long for the sky to become even darker, and some of the players found themselves struggling to breath. Smokey was careful not to actually choke anyone out, but with so much smoke trapping them in place, the air grew heavy nonetheless.

In response, some of Abomitable's team retreated, but others stayed. Sonorhc and her fellow Necromages were one example. Or rather, the large stag they'd managed to resurrect together was an example. While the Necromages themselves retreated, they sent their skeletal stag inward on their behalf. It was a large, terrifying creature, looking even more nightmarish in the dim, flickering flames. The smoke billowed around its bones.

"Now that's something out of a horror film!" Abomitable remarked with pride as the stag waved its antlers threateningly.

Then Nevermore and her fellow Umbramages were the second group of people to stay behind in the smokey fray.

"I can't believe you thought a blinding tactic would work on a team that has Umbramages on it!" Nevermore cried, then she and her companions quickly morphed into living shadows. Although the air was still a bit hot and thick, the blinding nature of the smoke was no longer an issue. And then, in an unexpected twist, it ultimately became Nevermore who got the flag. While her fellow Umbramages flanked her to protect her, she charged forward and grabbed the enemy flag from its pedestal. She waved it high in the air in triumph.

"Sweet, sweet victory!" she shouted, then a second later, she had vanished again, melting into the shadows once more, taking the flag with her.

20 minutes later, everyone was back at the clearing once more.

"Good game, everyone, good game!" Smokey cried. High-fives and back-slaps were exchanged, as were an array of amusing stories.

"Sooooo, I hear you demolished a large portion of the forest, eh?" Reaper sidled over to Blazeit and nudged him teasingly.

"Yeah, I thought we agreed _not_ to do that," Abomitable also teased the blushing Pyromage.

"It wasn't my fault!" he cried, raising his hands defensively.

"Really? The brightest and most heated Pyromage of us all says that an _inferno_ wasn't his fault?" Smokey deadpanned and scoffed.

"Nevermore scared the crap out of me!" Blazeit cried, trying to pin the blame on someone else.

"Hey, bro, that's on you," Nevermore scoffed, still looking quite pleased with her little victory. "I wasn't even in shadow form!"

"Wait, what? Are you saying you got spooked by Nevermore?" Reaper began to laugh. "How did you manage to get scared by _her_?!"

"Hey!" Nevermore's triumphant smirk turned into an adorable pout, but Reaper was laughing too hard to hear her. In the background, Sonorhc had to muffle a laugh as well. Her three undead birds were still "alive" and kicking. She had one on either shoulder and one on top of her head. She knew she would have to send them back to the grave eventually (it took too much energy to keep them alive and she had no more need of them), but she decided to let them stay around at least until the end of the night. Why not? They were cute. And even if they were more like vessels or empty shells than actual, living birds, Sonorhc still felt mildly attached to them and didn't want to send them away too soon.

The other Necromage, the one with the cat, had done likewise. In fact, they were even contemplating on keeping the cat as a new pet. And this was actually a very good and common practice amongst Necromages, to keep resurrected animals as pets. It helped train their abilities to keep larger mammals alive around the clock, rather than just digging up some old bones for a one-and-done mission.

"Come on! Tell us! Tell us what happened!" Reaper urged Nevermore once she finally had her laughter under control.

"This was before we had an official plan," Nevermore began, still pouting a little at Reaper. "The game was still in its early stages and we were all still just trying to get our bearings. I was trying to get a lay of the land when I literally ran into Blazeit!" Nevermore's pout turned back into a smile. "If I can recall, he screamed higher than a soprano and, in a very poorly-executed self-defense move, sent a _wall_ of fire at me in his panic!"

"He what?!" Reaper, Sonorhc, Abomitable and Smokey all cried out in shock and concern.

"I panicked!" Blazeit tried to defend himself, blushing even hotter than before. "Besides, it wasn't a _wall_ of fire, I was trying to make a shield in case she had a projectile weapon, or was going to attack. My fire wouldn't have touched her. It wasn't like I was sending a jet of flames at her!"

"Luckily, the light from the fire gave me just the shadow I needed in order to escape unharmed," Nevermore continued smugly. "But yeah, I'm pretty sure that _that's_ what started the inferno in the southeast side of the forest!" she added with a laugh, concluding her tale.

"Ah, that explains why we missed it!" Reaper whispered to Sonorhc, the two of them having been headed north at the time.

"Well, thank goodness the Hydro- and Phytomages could fix your mess," Smokey sighed and rolled his eyes. Blazeit only smiled sheepishly.

"Let's just never speak of this night again!" he said as the aforementioned Hydro- and Phytomages returned. While the former had put out the fire, the latter helped the plants grow back. That area of the forest still wouldn't be 100% for a few weeks, but at least the damage hadn't been lasting.

"Oh, too late!" Nevermore teased, pulling out her phone.

"You didn't get pictures, did you?" Blazeit looked horrified.

"No," Nevermore admitted. "But I'm still going to tell all my online friends about it! Consider it revenge for nearly frying my face off!"

"Oh, but did you want pictures?" one of the Phytomages asked, pulling out his own phone. The girl beside him did likewise.

"When we went back to regrow everything, we got some lovely shots of the burnt and barren land!" she teased. Blazeit looked mortified.

"So did we!" a Hydromage grinned, having overheard the Phytomages. They actually managed to get a shot of a tree burning.

"Ooooh, sweet, sweet victory!" Nevermore cried again as the pics were texted around the circle. "I'm putting this on my Tumblr!"

"Why am I not surprised you have a Tumblr?" Blazeit tried to find someone else to tease, but his blunder had been so great that his attempt failed.

"My user is "The Raven and the Writing Desk" if you wanna find me, and my future post about your enormous mistake!" Nevermore grinned cheerfully. The others all laughed while Blazeit continued to blush hotly. But even though he was the butt of tonight's big joke, it had just been too satisfying of a game for him to stay angry or embarrassed for too long. Soon enough, he was laughing along with everyone else again.

"We need to do this more often," Sonorhc snickered as Reaper sent her the photos, and everyone else agreed with her 100%, even Blazeit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Just a long, stupid story of these mages goofing off and being friends, all while using an array of awesome-sauce powers.


End file.
